Kennedy K-Hole

Last month I had a dream about John F. Kennedy Jr. I’m not sure what he was doing in my head, but his face made a cameo (hard to forget that face.) It was only after playing Wordle with my boyfriend that morning over coffee, that my thoughts inevitably wandered to the plane crash and then of course, to the late Carolyn Bessette Kennedy and her sister Lauren Bessette.

Their tragic ending has never failed to suck me away into a Kennedy k-hole, time and time again. I lost a partner tragically in my early thirties and when this horrific thing happens, god be with you. In some ways it’s good that John and Carolyn went together, but how awful it must be for the remaining Bessette sister, Lauren’s twin, Lisa? Their three-way death seemed like a bit of an incestious thrupple gone wrong. Something romantic about it, despite the horror. What might have become of them all, if they hadn’t been stolen from the sky that day? Would Carolyn and John have had supermodel kids? Would Lauren have gone on to become president of Morgan Stanley? What would John’s magazine George have become in the digital age? Why didn’t they file a flight plan? Is there truly a curse on the Kennedy’s?

Now, I’m a bit of a witch—you know the LA kind that carries precious rocks around sometimes in her bra or under her pillow and senses things? Well, I sense that there must be something to this Kennedy curse theory. Too many things have gone wrong. Just take a throw back listen to the NY based trio Rasputina’s song “Rose K.” from their mystical 1998 album How we quit the forest. Rose was screwed since the day she was born, literally. Curses aside, Carolyn still burns bright like a candle in the wind. Slaying it around Manhattan in black and white, her images still haunt the pages of Instagram and Pinterest, iconically frozen in time. But who was she really?

Like Jackie O, Carolyn was timeless. No wonder John was smitten. Tall and lithe, with giant sky blue eyes like UFO saucers and the thickest shock of white blonde hair- she might as well have been a unicorn. Carolyn intimated the No face makeup- no eyebrows, glassy eyes, a shiver of makeup. She adored the Bobbie Brown lipstick Ruby Stain (love a good stain) As a pro Makeup artist- I also believe that less is usually more. I sense that Carolyn did too. Her commitment to barely there makeup—crowns her as cool, forever.

I’ve read that she spoke fluent astrology and adored reading people and looking up their birthdays (as do I) She was a Capricorn sun, cancer moon and Aquarius rising, a far cry from my zany Gemini sun, selfish Aries moon, but oh so thoughtful Cancer rising.

Through my frantic googling– I find out that Carolyn was also an Egyptian Musk oil girl. Now I’m a frag head and by that I mean that I listen to perfume podcasts and have a profile on Fragrantica, ya it’s a thing. It seems that Carolyn might have been this way too. Mainly because she wore this underrated culty scent. For those who don’t know, Egyptian Musk is an oil based sexy sheer skin-scent that is very powdery while also being effortlessly clean.

Egyptian Goddess was sold on the streets of NYC for less than 20 bucks– A price unheard of in today’s mass market of high priced designer and celebrity endorsed scents, and even more expensively obscure niche perfumes. This simple oil evokes an aquatic muskiness and just straight up coos sensuality. Mostly though, it’s unexpected. Beyond her years cool, no wonder she died young.

Deep inside my cozy Kennedy-K-Hole, I still needed more. Soon I was immersed in the stunning memoir “What Remains” by Carole Radziwill. In her prose she paints the Carolyn that I’ve always imagined and a John-John that is every bit as lovely as he looked. Mostly, Carole captures life in that innocent time before social media took over. Pure bliss it was.

I wonder what Carolyn and John would have thought of the world we live in these days. I guess they most likely would have acclimated to it, the way we all have. At forty, I am finally just starting to embrace it. Would Carolyn have turned Gwyneth goopy? Would John have become President? I feel like he would have at least tried, why not? So many of the books written about him describe a goofy thrill-seeker (sagittarius of course) a man who lived for great heights and didn’t fear the risk of falling. You would think that Capricorn Carolyn would have had the earthly sense to at least have forced a flight plan before they all took off for Martha’s Vineyard in his Piper Seratoga. But maybe she was in love with that wild streak in him. Maybe it was her kryptonite.

As we approach the month of the archer and the goat, I am inspired by Carolyn’s minimalism. I recently ordered some Egyptian Musk to add to my growing perfume wardrobe. I was practically bubbling when it arrived, so excited to try it on again. Carole even mentions Carolyn’s scent in her book- when she hugged her and the way it just lingered forever on her sweater after Christmas. Upon ripping into the packaging, I smiled at the bottles simplicity. Rubbing a little of the shiny oil on to my pulse points, I breathe her in. I close my eyes and I am transported immediately to the ocean.

It’s fresh, it’s cool. It’s me.